About God’s plan for my life and myself

Judges 6:36 “And Gideon said unto God, If thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said, Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; and if the dew be on the fleece only, and it be dry upon all the earth beside, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said. And it was so: for he rose up early on the morrow, and thrust the fleece together, and wringed the dew out of the fleece, a bowl full of water. And Gideon said unto God, Let not thine anger be hot against me, and I will speak but this once: let me prove, I pray thee, but this once with the fleece; let it now be dry only upon the fleece, and upon all the ground let there be dew.  And God did so that night: for it was dry upon the fleece only, and there was dew on all the ground.”
Gideon didn’t have a Bible, and it was contrary to any authority in his life except God.  What God was asking Gideon to do was flat out crazy in the natural realm.  His father had to step in to keep the religious leaders from killing him.  God had put working with kids in Colombia in my heart, and confirmed it with several signs.  One example: Once I was visiting a friend from church who also happened to be an elder, and also into kids.  His brother-in-law dropped in with a Latina girlfriend.  While we were being introduced I asked, “Are you from Colombia?”  I couldn’t believe I said that because much of the world looked like her.  She said yes, I’m from Bogota and her boyfriend told me a good place to stay if I ever visit there and which banks and places to avoid to not get shot by drug cartels.  The only thing on the news was bombings, terrorists, kidnapping, and killing.   The only encouragement I had was from the Christian owner of the company that I had just started working for, who hired me to do a job critical to his company, that was on a tight timeline.  I had shared before he hired me what was going on inside me.  He wanted me anyway.  Now I felt I had to tell him that I hadn’t gotten anything done in two weeks and why.  He said,,  “I gave you your vacation the day I hired you.  Go.”   When I told people that I had bought tickets it was met with fierce anger from church, family, and a warning call from the State Department to convince me not to go.  Matthew 10:36  “And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.”  I would discover they could in fact be the enemies of my soul as Jesus relates in Matthew 16.  Just before I left, the main drug dealer turned himself in under his terms.  Every orphanage I would encounter that exuded the love of Christ were funded by businessmen.  The orphanage that was a worldwide known Christian organization evaluated kids by their estimated potential to achieve positions of influence.  I assumed that’s how they worked, but the guy who ran the orphanage pulled me aside and wrote an address on a piece of paper and said, “I think this is what you are looking for.”  On it was the address of Nuevo Amanacer. (New Dawn).  He hit it out of the park for which I thanked him for later.  As far as the business man who hired me and by faith told me to go, when I returned, his business partners attacked me after I defended the business man who wasn’t there.  The next day the business man who hired me came in and said, “People told me what happened yesterday.  I want you to forget yesterday ever happened.”  I had a clear mind, and God used me to assemble systems, develop the software, deploy the automation and ERP I had written.  When the critics came in their anger when it was inspection time, GM said they had never seen anything that comprehensive and integrated and gave them an award reserved for their top 3%.  Not long after he bought out the critical partners and there was no longer ownership plurality.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
It made no sense and there was no well-developed Internet to research such things.  I felt foolish on the way to Colombia, saying to myself, “You idiot.  What are you thinking?  Latin families are tight.  There cannot possibly be a problem with kids there.”  I was too embarrassed to tell people on the way why I was going there.  At O’Hare, a guy flagged me down and asked if I would help him with some eye medicine.  He asked where I was going, and I told him.  He said I’m going there too.  So we walked across the airport to that gate.  He told me about how things may seem to me but the way people think is quite different.  At Miami I had to change planes.  It turned out a guy from Florida came and sat across the aisle from me and was telling me about Colombia, had two daughters who married the two sons of the pastor who didn’t like me for going.  Another couple came in and sat behind me who turned out to be missionaries from the church, who I never met before then.   Another couple and daughter were from Muskegon to teach in a school called El Camino Academy, a christian school in Bogota.  Those are pretty long odds on a plane with over 300 people.  When the plane landed, I had peace like I had never experienced before.  I was angry with myself for not being terrified.  It was pitch dark and raining.  I didn’t expect it to be dark at 8 PM.  All who said they would help get me on my way abandoned me.  I was going to stay in the airport until morning but they closed it and forced me out in the street where it was raining and taxi drivers grabbing at my arm.  The hotel I had made reservations with accidentally booked the wrong month, and I was back on the street.  After the plans I had made all fell through, I found refuge the following day in the attic of a Wycliffe Guest House.  At that point they asked the dreaded question, Why did you come?  I felt so stupid telling them.  Then they told me about the street children, that the need was intense, and how the city was laid out.  I couldn’t visit the government offices because the president had declared it “The Week Of The Children” so the following day they flew me to a missionary outpost near the jungle.  There, a doctor and dentist tracked me down and told me if I come they would give the kids free services, and a missionary couple with two kids said they would like to work with me.  That doctor I would run across 3 more times hundreds of miles from our last meeting in completely unrelated places.  After we flew back, they invited me to a get together before school resumed.  There they introduced me to a guy working with kids and he asked if I wanted to go out with him on the streets at night, which I did, where I learned how to dodge Los Cobras who machined gunned, stabbed to death, and burned to death in sewers because they stole.  Then the people running the guest house told me about a girl they talked out of an abortion, the orphanage the baby went to after he was born, that it was their little boy running around there, and asked if I wanted to visit the orphanage that was run by Carlos Arreaga, which I did.  It was one thing after another.  What I didn’t know, is while I was there, ABC came there to film what was happening to the street kids, which blew the situation world-wide, which a customer back home videotaped for me and I still have.  My blessing to the kids and they to me were massive.  When I returned, everyone was more angry than ever, except the christian businessman.

Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”
1 Kings 13:11-24 – The old prophet told the young prophet that God told him contrary to what God told the young prophet, and the young prophet was killed by a lion.
Matthew 23:4  “For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.”
Matthew 23:9  “And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.”
Luke 11:11-13 “If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?”

I am one of the young people of the church, who went to a Christian school, who God had a close relationship with me from a young age, which I assumed was the case with everyone else.  My expectation from learning about the heroes of faith, that that meant how we were supposed to live.  I had heard great sermons on what faith was al about.  However, instead of having my back when went to step out, they were on my back.  Both before and after they manipulated scripture and used intimidation.  I was torn in both directions from the scriptures.  What followed is I avoided going deep with God, and hiding in a busy, surface existence, and living out other people’s expectations for my life. Meanwhile the signs still kept happening.  When I was flying across country to Yellowstone Park when I felt I should be going to Colombia.  I listened to a couple talking about Colombia and girl there, and how they were worried about her.  It sounded like they were talking about a girl who worked at the Niños de Los Andes orphanage.   I asked, “Are you talking about Ann?”  It turned out I was sitting next to her sister and husband.  They were stunned and I was shook.  One time I had a taxi drop me off at an address in the ghetto but what I was after wasn’t there.  I ran after the taxi but he didn’t see me.  I realized I didn’t have the address of where I was staying.  I prayed.  In about 30 seconds a car stopped with someone who looked like it had a gringo like me, but Colombia has many Europeans.  I asked if she spoke English.  She spoke perfect English.  I asked her what she was doing here.  She asked me what I was doing here.  I told her.  She said there are no kids here, that they were moved to Cajica, and asked if I had a couple hours.  I didn’t know what she meant, but I had forever because I had no idea how to get back where I was staying in a city of over 7 million.  A few minutes later she came out of a building with a bunch of other people and I ended in the back seat under other people.  I learned on the way that her name was Ann, and it turned out she was the executive secretary of the Niños de Los Andes orphanage (and the one who made everything happen), and was from Grand Haven,  35 miles from where I lived.  On the way back to Bogota that night she asked me where I was staying.  I tried to describe it the best I could and she said, I think I know where you mean and dropped me off right where I was staying in a city of 7 million.  I couldn’t do something like that in a city of 250,000 I lived near for most of my life.  I went several times and helped them set up their computer system and trained them in fund accounting to get them out of audit trouble.  Spent time with kids.  The memories of these miraculous signs never go away.  I discovered later by examining the original text that they had added and taken away from the scriptures and do to this day, and what God had put in my heart and confirmed was scriptural.  It is my fault for enabling them because there is no basis in scripture for God needing man’s approval.  The only thing they managed to do was to steal my joy and excitement, and damage my relationship with God.  I’d rather be a man of no reputation, so I can walk with God in faith without worrying about what other people believe, than to imprisoned by a reputation and job that requires man’s approval.  There is no mistake I could have made while following Him that could have been more crippling to my life than the fear of man and walking by sight.

Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
No matter how things look on the outside, life doesn’t work when your body is one place, while your heart is in another.

Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.”
When God gives signs like he did to Gideon, that IS a green light.  When people say wait, those are the words of men walking by sight.  There is no place in His Word that supports that position, so any confusion resides within them.  Delay simply makes the heart sick.  A sick heart is far more life-limiting than acting by faith and not getting everything perfect.

Luke 9:62 “And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Romans 11:29 “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance”
I had been given so many miraculous signs that I feared Luke 9:62.  I wasn’t sure what He thought of me, and was almost afraid to ask.  I cried out to Him, and He gave me multiple miraculous signs that showed He does.  I wish I could show you the pictures, the documents, and have you talk to the people to confirm what I said, but here is something I can prove to you here.  While I was praying recently, God spoke ChristsLove.org to my heart.  My logical inclination was that is a ridiculous thought!  It can’t be from God because would not be possible for such an obvious domain name to be unclaimed and available at this late date.  It kept prodding me and I couldn’t think to get anything done so I went online to where I keep my domain names to check just to get it off my mind.  I learned it had never been claimed, as was also the case with the Spanish and French translations.  Ask any webmaster what the odds are of domain names like them having never been claimed and in the wild at this late date.  There are not even less desirable names available around them available.  It has been one thing like that after another, and too many to list here.

Luke 18:29-30  “And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God’s sake,  Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.”
Even if this promise were not in the Bible, it wouldn’t change anything for me.  God has put it in my heart to be a father to the fatherless, and the love of kids and people has been part of my DNA since I was a child.  Just feeling Christ’s love flow my heart into theirs is already “Manifold more”, and a huge pressure relief for me.

Matthew 19:24 “And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” 
There has long been an unconscious desire to not be rich that has played out no matter how much money I received.  I’m happy to go with whatever God wants, including nothing at all.  It is also the very reason why I always back away from great, but entangling, opportunities.

Joel 2:25  “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.”
Isa 40:30-31  “Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:  But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
I have no right to ask for these verses to be fulfilled in my life after my delays except through Christ who makes me perfect in God’s sight.  God knows my heart has always been to wait upon Him, and that itself was not a desire that I put there.  I also pray that the childlike trust, joy, and excitement also be restored to full vigor.

Psalm 84:10  “For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.”
God created me with the need for puke, dirty diapers, skinned knees, skinned hearts, to wipe tears away, for holding, and hugging, and for reasons only He knows, forced me into aviation and afterward made a military pilot out of me, business, and technology in many fields.  I was not involved in those decisions, and nor do I understand how God will use those pieces nor will I trust anyone but God to reveal that.  If I wrote out how all of those things happened it would be filed in the comedy section.  My greatest need and God’s unequivocal call is to have the love of Christ flow through me to these kids and other people.  No matter what happens, I am not willing to be constrained to a life of, “No runs, no hits, and no errors.” and my need is, and always has been, to bring as much Heaven to earth as I can with my life.  Doing anything less than that for me is, and has been, simply dying an inch at a time.

Orphanage and kids
What you can expect of me is for the kids experience the love of Christ, and come to know God as their coach and minute by minute companion.  To learn to read God’s word with the mindset of a God who shows us what does and what doesn’t work in life, the bad areas as Him cutting out cancer from society that prevent people from living fulfilled lives, how it was written for them to get the most out of life, that Jesus made it possible, and God can make happen what He wants to make happen in their lives if they put their confidence in Him.   I have witnessed firsthand how destroyed these kids can be when they arrive.  Today there is video chat so people in the US could visit with the kids.  After their healing, I hope to find people in the states who can recognize families that walk by faith.  I know how rare those families are, and that trait does not seem to favor any particular denomination.  I know how unnecessarily expensive adoptions are.  Perhaps people can band together to help households of faith take them in as exchange students or adoption.  From what I’ve seen, they will be a far greater blessing to you than you could ever be to them.

As for me
I have no idea what I’m doing, nor how all this will unfold, but God never let me know ahead of time with anything else that happened in my life either.  The heroes in my life are Mother Theresa, Mariella Bernal of Nuevo Amanecer who has no match for imparting the love of Christ to kids, Jaime Jaramillo of Ninos de Los Andes, who has rescued nearly 100,000 from the streets between December, 1973 and April 2018 and sets aside a night to call the kids around the world, and Carlos Arreaga who found the love of Christ and went from pimp to the orphanage father of 70 kids while I was there, and was used by God to transform prostitutes into humble, God-spirited helpers with the kids.  I’ve seen God’s power and how He has done things in my life that were way beyond what I could fathom as possible or even imagined that I would want.  Romans 11:29 says, “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.”  E.G. It never goes away.  Ephesians 2:10  “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”  My greatest peace and blessings have come when doing what God asked me to do that was beyond crazy from everyone’s perspective, including mine.  Hebrews 11 contains people who did what God asked them to do even when it didn’t make sense, and He tells some of the most unlikely people to do them.  Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”  My greatest disasters came from leaning on my own understanding, even when it was also scriptural, and fit with people’s expectations.  As graphic as the miracles have been, so also have been the attacks against my life.  If you are content with what you are doing, you are probably right where God wants you.  When you’re not there, the peace and enthusiasm for what you do isn’t there, and there are things that need to be walked out.  I’m not doing anyone any good this way, and I’m made in such a way that life isn’t fun unless I’m helping people.  Because of all that has happened, one cannot expect me to be like someone who has not experienced these things.

My Prayer:
Pray God’s help in me separating myself of entanglements that prevent me from pursuing God’s calling.  Pray that the peace and joy and energy will be revived.  I pray that He restore everything the locusts have eaten and that I not be robbed of a single blessing He wanted for me and to accomplish.  I pray for guidance whether I should learn from Jaime, Mariella, the couples in Cartagena  who also didn’t know the language, or God Himself as He forced me to do the first time when He trashed all of my plans and made up one that was more than I knew how to ask for or imagine.  Pray that He bless my language learning skills that seem to only come when I need them.  Pray for provision.  My needs are very small; soap, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, a couple changes of clothes, and just enough food to enable me to take care of them.  The larger needs will be for the kids, for a place to house them, feed them, and care for them.  Jaime gets donations from around the world, but now also makes cookies that are sold  through grocery stores.  It gave the older kids a job and stability to their provisions.  Please pray all of this happens for the kids’ sake and mine, otherwise I will have spent my life running away from great opportunities for nothing in return.